Signs that You Are in a Friends with Benefits (FWB) Relationship

Tips to determine if you’re in a friends with benefits situation.

Friends with benefits relationships can be complicated. Sometimes women find themselves in these arrangements but aren’t 100% sure of the guy’s intentions. Here are a few ways that you will know you are undoubtedly in a FWB situation, which is a temporary fling where the guy’s intentions are to simply have sex whenever he wants with “no strings.”

He’s Never Taken You Out to Eat

In most cases, a guy will only spend money on a woman for one of two reasons 1) he thinks it will increase his chances of getting her into bed later or 2) he wants to impress the girl and treat her like a lady so that she will take him seriously. If you have never seen a meal, period, yet you have been to the guy’s house for a movie, then 90% of the time you have placed yourself squarely in a friends with benefits situation.

Don’t believe what anyone else tells you — a man who never spends money on you and never takes you out in public is not interested in you for a serious relationship. Most men genuinely enjoy spending money on a woman that they really like. They want to show her a good time and put a smile on her face.

If he isn’t actively doing this with you, yet you guys have sex on a regular basis, it’s safe to assume that you are in a friends with benefits relationship.

You Only Hear from Him Via Text

Text messaging has effectively replaced those 30 second phone calls that you used to have with a guy who only wanted to tell you he was on his way. But a guy who is really serious about you will want to hear your voice from time to time on the phone.

A guy who only sends you a text message or two in between meetings is most likely using you as second option, or a backup option when his first choice doesn’t come through. So if you can’t remember the last time your guy called you, and you never had a discussion about being exclusive with each other, it’s probably safe to assume that you are in a friends with benefits situation.

You Only See Your Guy at Night

The final most telling sign that you are in a friends with benefits relationship is if you only see the guy at night time. If you frequently find yourself walking or driving to your guy’s house in the middle of the night when everyone else is asleep, or if you are regularly woken from your sleep by a text message at 3 a.m. asking if he can “come by” then you are probably in a FWB situation. At 3 a.m., most men have exhausted all of their options and you are the “old faithful” they can count on for a romp in the bed.

These signs of being in an FWB relationship can also apply to guys. Women aren’t the only ones who sometimes find themselves entangled in a friends with benefits relationship that they don’t really want. If this isn’t the relationship that you intended, then you know what to do!

Guest post by: Jade

 

Learn more about FWB relationships and how to avoid them in the eBook Friends with Benefits SUCKS (At Least for Women).

 

 

Promoting HIM But Not Your Own Dreams and Goals

Oftentimes I see women and girls on Twitter promoting a new male artist, friend or associate. It’s to the point where they tweet or post about the guy every day, encouraging people to check out his song, book or other project.

On the other hand, I very rarely see men promoting women who are artists, authors, movers and shakers.

Why do women have a tendency to be so supportive of their male counterparts even when they don’t get anything in return?

The answer is that a lot of women have an overwhelming need for acceptance by men (and other people period). We think that by promoting a guy he will come to love you or respect you more for it.

The truth is that most guys will do no such thing. They will use women as work horses to do their bidding, and if they do come up, those same women will be left behind in the dust. The most these women get in the end is a pat on the head and a “gee thanks.”

I’m not saying that you shouldn’t throw your support behind another person who you really believe in. But when you’re doing this day in and day out for a man who you are not even married to OR related to, I think you should be clear about WHY you’re doing it. If you’re married, his come up is your come up. If not, his come up is HIS come up — no matter what he says in the present day.

Time Is Invaluable – Use It Wisely
When a woman spends all of her time promoting a man, but doesn’t spend any time improving herself and promoting her own projects, she’s allowing invaluable time to tick by. Her goals and dreams are important too!

I once dated a guy who had the mentality that I was his main supporter, but didn’t care about my dreams. He didn’t even know what they were! It was almost as if he thought of me like his assistant or secretary — not a human being with goals of my own. I finally woke up and realized I was being used. I told him to stop calling me about his get rich quick schemes. Of course he didn’t like that… oh well!

Support should be reciprocal and balanced. Whenever it’s heavily one-sided it’s just not natural and someone is going to be left feeling hurt and used. Keep that in mind the next time you’re thinking about retweeting some guy’s project for the 10th time while neglecting your own personal goals, dreams and projects!

Love Lynn

“I Just Don’t Trust Other Women”: Why Are Some Women So Harsh on Each Other?

Why are some women so harsh with other women but give men a pass no matter how badly they’re treated?

I’ve noticed that some women are very harsh with each other, but don’t reserve the same passion and fervor for dealing with men who treat them badly.

questionheartWhy is this?

I guess it starts with the need to compete, which is taught to us as children — women who constantly feel threatened by other women instead of simply believing fully in their OWN woman power are more apt to “hate” on other women OR talk about other women as if they are the enemy.

Another reason: women who constantly complain about the behaviors, actions and intentions of other women may see something about THEMSELVES that they don’t like in that other woman, such as being overtly sexual, having a type A personality, being bitchy or making silly decisions about men.

Women together are powerful. Women separated are power-limited or powerless — especially when a man is involved. He gets all that precious power.

Think About It
The next time you catch yourself thinking, saying or doing something that is anti-your sister, reconsider. Switch over to a positive thought of her and release it all to God.

Remember: when you hate on or rebuke another woman you’re indirectly and unconsciously hating on or rebuking yourself!

Love Lynn


Lynn Gilliard is the author of the relationship guide Let Him Chase YOU (available soon) and the eBook Friends With Benefits SUCKS (At Least for Women). She is an in-demand writer and transformational blogger helping people get in touch with their inner greatness.

Do You Feel Worthless in Your Relationships?

By Lynn Gilliard

(Posted at DatingAdvice.com)

friends with benefits question

Dating and Relationship Questions

Since I was a child, I have struggled with feelings of not being worthy, not being enough and not really mattering.

It got to the point where I could not understand why I was even put on this earth.

I then went through a period after I flourished into a beautiful woman and started to get everything I wanted. I was accepted into a top college. I had plenty of boyfriends, a great job and a full social life.

Unfortunately, those old feelings did not go away.

They extended into my adulthood…

Read the rest of this post at DatingAdvice.com, a site for those who need advice on dating, reviews of online sites and more. Click here for the full post  >>
http://www.datingadvice.com/for-women/do-you-feel-worthless-in-your-relationship


Lynn Gilliard is the author of the relationship guide Let Him Chase YOU (available soon) and the eBook Friends With Benefits SUCKS (At Least for Women). She is an in-demand writer and transformational blogger helping people get in touch with their inner greatness.