Preparing for Valentine’s Day When You’re Single

Besides the end of year holiday season, there is no other holiday that is quite as depressing for single people of all ages as Valentine’s Day. If you will probably be spending the holiday by yourself, you can defeat your V-Day blues by simply getting mentally prepared for it.

It’s Just Another Day!

Understand and accept that Valentine’s Day is just another day on the 365-day calendar of the year. It’s a holiday that was created and promoted by retailers to sell stuff. Make a firm decision that this holiday does not own you — it does not have any real effect on your life unless you let it. Stop torturing yourself.

If you have someone who wants to spend Valentine’s Day with you, then great, enjoy yourself. But if not, it isn’t the end of the world. Say this to yourself over and over again: “It’s just another day on the calendar.” Over time you may find that each February 14th transitions into the 15th with you barely even noticing.

Turn Off the Television and Social Media

Valentine’s Day is a media holiday. That means that the news, television shows and social media sites will organize whole segments to promote it. Valentine’s Day is a very lucrative holiday for advertisers — it is cash in the bank for many different types of businesses. So if you watch a lot of mainstream television in the week leading up to Valentine’s Day or browse social media often, be prepared to be deluged with ads for roses, diamond engagement rings, restaurant specials, boxes of chocolate and big teddy bears.

Instead, turn on Netflix and clean up your to-watch list with a nice dinner and some treats!

Attend an Anti-Valentine’s Day Event

A number of organizations plan anti-Valentine’s Day events to accommodate single people. Sometimes they turn out to actually be anti-anti-Valentine’s Day events because single people end up meeting each other. So if you know that you’ll most likely be alone on that day, make a reservation to attend one of these events instead of spending it at home alone. Bring another single friend if possible. You can find these events on Meetup, Craigslist and other similar websites.

If you look at every Valentine’s Day as a dreadful anniversary when you must celebrate your misery, you will continue to be a slave to it every year. Instead look at February 14th from a different point of view and you may find that it has absolutely no power over your life after all. It’s just a day. And if you maintain a positive mindset about attracting a good relationship, who knows — maybe one V-Day in the near future you’ll be on the other side of the so-called “fence,” enjoying the day with someone very special.

 

Love Lynn

Lynn Gilliard is a writer and transformational blogger. She is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU and a self-help guide entitled Survive, Live or Thrive?

 

 

 

 

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Is Being “The Cat Lady” Really the Worst That Could Happen?

One of the memes that society uses to pressure women into rushed relationships is the dreaded “cat lady.”

No woman wants to become “the cat lady” with 10 cats living in her house!

friends with benefits question

Dating and Relationship Questions

But if you think about it, is it really so bad to be the cat lady?

I think a lot of cat ladies are cat ladies by choice. I think many of them are happy. I think they are probably content — even more content then women who are trapped in miserable relationships at that stage in life.

Think about it.

My theory, which I write about in my eBook, is that women have a hierarchy of needs when it comes to men. They want a protector, a provider, a friend and then a lover.

So let’s analyze the cat lady.

At that stage of life, she’s probably learned how to protect herself. She has a big shot gun loaded and ready. She has a security system and is part of the neighborhood watch. She’s an older lady so people probably don’t bother her much anyway.

At that stage the cat lady probably has what she needs to provide for her basic needs — food and shelter. She’s no longer concerned about worldly things.

With a few exceptions, she doesn’t have the strong desire for sex and attention that she did when she was younger.

And her friend? Mr. Cat. He’s always there. He follows her around all day, sleeps with her, cuddles with her and gives her a purpose for each day. He has to be fed and loved, that’s all.

Now you might think this is a sad story, because you’ve been taught that you need a human companion (namely a man) in order to be happy.

But I don’t think the cat lady is as sad as you may think. She is free to do as she pleases. She doesn’t have to fight with anyone or justify her decisions. She doesn’t have to sacrifice her own needs to take care of someone else. She can travel and see the world if she wants, the cats will be okay.

I think what’s even sadder than the cat lady is going through life desperately settling for unfulfilling relationships with men, just because you’re afraid of being alone. Everyone wants to find love, and when you DO it is awesome and totally worth the extra efforts you have to put forth. But unfortunately a lot of women are settling and being pressured by society to do things that ulimately make them unhappy.

And you know what’s ironic? The independent cat lady is in high demand! Single men her age and older want her bad, especially if she still looks good. They want someone to take care of them, and a young woman is not going to do that.

But the smart cat lady is content and probably doesn’t want to complicate her life with a man at that point. She has what she needs. She would most likely only allow a man into her life if it was true love, effortless and blissful.

So the next time someone tries to scare you by telling you you’re on your way to being the cat lady if you don’t meet a man, think about this post. It might prompt you to respond,

“Maybe that’s not the worst thing in the world.”

Then go out there and get yourself a cat.

Love Lynn


Lynn Gilliard is the author of the relationship guide Let Him Chase YOU (available soon) and the eBook Friends With Benefits SUCKS (At Least for Women). She is an in-demand writer and transformational blogger helping people get in touch with their inner greatness.