Downsides of a Friends with Benefits Relationship

Maintaining a friends with benefits relationship may sound great in theory, but in practice it can be a lot more complicated!

If you’ve ever been in a relationship that can only be defined as a friends with benefits situation, you know that there are some downsides to this seemingly ideal arrangement.

Defining a Friends with Benefits Relationship

Some people start off on the wrong foot of a friends with benefits relationship because they don’t even realize that they are in one! They may have initially thought that things were going in a positive direction towards something more, but soon learn, sometimes too late, that the relationship isn’t going any further than it already has. Then it becomes more and more difficult to end things cleanly.

Let’s clarify the definition of a friends with benefits relationship: it is one where the two people have an understanding that they are absolutely not in a committed relationship. The sole purpose of the relationship is physical pleasure and occasional companionship.

As simple as that sounds, most FWB relationships don’t turn out well.

Feelings Get Involved on One Side

It is very rare that two people can date for a long, extended period of time without one side catching feelings for the other, especially since physical closeness is a part of a FWB relationship. This is the reason why friends with benefits relationships usually don’t last past a few months.

Once one person starts to show too much emotion, the other start trying to move on. Most of the time it is the female in a male-female FWB relationship that tends to become emotionally involved because of a chemical called oxytocin, but there are some cases where the female has the upper hand and will end a FWB relationship because she’s “just not that into him.”

Breaking it Off When You Find Someone New

When you have gotten yourself caught up in a friends with benefits situation, you have tied yourself to that person in a very serious way by sleeping together so often. So when you meet someone new who you actually might want to get serious with, it becomes difficult to break it off with the other friend. It’s especially hard when the other person seems to have developed some feelings for you.

This can create an awkward situation for everyone involved (including the new person) — there are almost certainly going to be some feelings that get hurt. That’s why if you’re looking for a serious relationship in the near future, it’s probably best to stay celibate instead of taking on a “buddy” as a fill in. Be patient and wait for that someone who you could actually see yourself mutually bonding with on more than just a physical level.

Guest Post by Jade

 

Learn more about FWB relationships and how to avoid them in the eBook Friends with Benefits SUCKS (At Least for Women).

 

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7 Reasons Why It’s Better to be SINGLE than in a Friends with Benefits Hookup

I originally wrote this list for my guide (Let Him Chase YOU), but decided it would be best for the blog:

7 Reasons Why It’s Better to be Single than in a FWB Hookup

1. You might not be the only one he’s creeping with. Do you really want to maintain a sex-only relationship with someone who may be promiscuous and having sex with other people?

2. The potential for unwanted pregnancies and STDs is high. Is it worth risking your life or lifestyle for someone who doesn’t have any real ties to you?

3. You leave yourself open to an actual relationship with a guy when you’re single.

4. You don’t have to experience the anxiety of waiting for a text message that may or may not come (which is probably just a booty call request).

5. You can rest peacefully and well throughout the night, every night, without being rudely awakened at 340 am, then having to debate with yourself about whether you should fix yourself up and run across town for a booty call.

6. You don’t have to listen to your FWB dump his problems on your lap, in the same way that he uses you for sexual relief. Especially is his “problem” is another woman he wants to be with.

7. You have more time on your hands to clear your head then pursue your interests, passions and business ideas when you’re single.

 

 


Lynn Gilliard is the author of the relationship guide Let Him Chase YOU (available soon) and the eBook Friends With Benefits SUCKS (At Least for Women). She is an in-demand writer and transformational blogger helping people get in touch with their inner greatness.