Mike Epps & Terry Crews Confirm the Premise of my Book “Let Him Chase YOU”

I was fortunate to catch the beginning of the Bethenny show, a new talk show that comes on daytime TV.

She had comedian Mike Epps and actor Terry Crews on her couch discussing relationships and dating. Both of these family men confirmed a number of the points that I highlight in my relationship guide Let Him Chase YOU and my Amazon eBook Friends with Benefits SUCKS (At Least for Women):

smileyheart– men prefer strong women who take control over their households

– men don’t like it when women chase them — they want to do the chasing

– men like to “earn” their ways into a woman’s heart (Terry likened an easy woman to getting a Super Bowl ring before the season even starts–nobody wants that)

Of course they don’t represent EVERY man, but I do believe they represent the views of MOST men.

Let a man be a man.

So bottom line, be yourself woman, stand up for yourself, love every inch of who you are (own it!) and live fearlessly.

As soon as I find a clip online, I will post it here.

Love Lynn


Lynn Gilliard is the author of the relationship guide Let Him Chase YOU (available soon) and the eBook Friends With Benefits SUCKS (At Least for Women). She is an in-demand writer and transformational blogger helping people get in touch with their inner greatness.

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Why Do Good Girls Finish Last & Bad Girls Get the Guy?

 

One of the top searched questions that I see are from women who want to know why good girls finish last while bad girls always seem to get the guys.

The answer is really simple: good girls tend to live life fearfully while “bad” girls tend to live life fearlessly.

If you were a guy, which type of woman would you want to be with?

friends with benefits question

Dating and Relationship Questions

a) a woman who has low self-esteem who is constantly questioning herself and her worth, listening to what everyone tells her to do instead of living in her truth

or

b) a woman who doesn’t care what others thing about her decisions, who is confident, bold and demands what she wants from life? Oh, and she’s sexy.

Flip that around if it’s hard to grasp — swap out woman for man. Which type of guy would you want to date?

Men Want Bold, Beautiful Women — Even if They’re a Little “Trashy” or Mean
It might go against all sense and logic that you’ve been taught, but most men will choose a “trashy,” mean, overtly sexual woman who is bold and confident over a woman who is conservative and afraid to be herself every day of the week.

(By the way, who said these women were “bad” in the first place? The same people who keep you living in fear of judgment every day of your life. Think about that.)

This is not to say that you should become a “bad girl” or start stripping for a living.

It’s actually great news, because you can be a good woman who is confident, bold and extremely attractive to men. You can have one up on those so-called “bad” girls, many of whom may one day regret a lot of their decisions.

You don’t have to slide down a pole for a living in order to attract men. You just have to :

1) unconditionally LOVE who you are

2) Have unbending CONFIDENCE in who you are as a woman

3) STOP depending on the opinions of others and FOCUS on your own needs

4) BE BOLD about pursuing what you want in life

5) SPEAK UP for yourself

You must be a no-nonsense type of woman who gets exactly what she wants from life if you want to be irresistible to men.

It may take a little time to get there after so much brainwashing and negative self-talk, so best to get started today.

Love Lynn


Lynn Gilliard is the author of the relationship guide Let Him Chase YOU (available soon) and the eBook Friends With Benefits SUCKS (At Least for Women). She is an in-demand writer and transformational blogger helping people get in touch with their inner greatness.

One Day I Woke Up & I Couldn’t Dance: Losing Your Mojo

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I distinctly remember a weird occurrence that first happened when I was about 17 years old.

I woke up one day and had lost my rhythm. No, seriously. I could not dance.

Before that day, I would go out with my friends and party all night long dancing up a storm. But for some reason on that day I went to a party and couldn’t find my rhythm.

My best friend noticed this and tried to get me to move better, encouraging me to swivel my hips or something. But it wouldn’t work. It was so strange because I never had that problem before!

This happened again to me later on in life, sometime after I graduated from college and was in the midst of a crisis.

I get it now — I had lost my mojo.

It’s very true that what’s going on in your mind can affect your body — after all, your body is CONTROLLED by your mind.

Losing Your Dating Mojo
There are times in your life when you feel like your dating game is “off.” I’ve been there before. More than likely, it’s because your thought life is off too.

Instead of focusing on your lack of a relationship with someone special, right now it’s time to instead focus on the other areas of your life.

What’s going on with you lady?

You have to get that fixed up before you can get your mojo back.

As for me, I got to the bottom of my issues. It was a lack of self-esteem and self-confidence that kept me sad and unfulfilled.

Nowadays, my mojo is back and I’m shaking my groove thing again, every chance I get.

What will it take to get you back to “yourself?”

Love Lynn


Lynn Gilliard is the author of the relationship guide Let Him Chase YOU (available soon) and the eBook Friends With Benefits SUCKS (At Least for Women). She is an in-demand writer and transformational blogger helping people get in touch with their inner greatness.

Not Giving Up Also Applies to Dating and Relationships

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One of my biggest inhibitors in life has been that I tend to give up on projects way too soon. In the past I frequently let any one setback distract me from my ultimate goal.

I tried to launch a small business when I was about 20 and it failed after many attempts to make it work. So after that, whenever a business idea of mine didn’t go right immediately I gave up.

Happy dating and relationships

Stay positive!

I only recently realized that I also did this often when it came to dating and relationships. If I had one bad experience with a guy, I would give up on dating completely for a long time.

The feelings of despair can be so overwhelming that you feel like you’re not meant for success. But that’s a lie we tell ourselves that’s based in fear.

Like moving forward with a new business idea, the right course of action if you want to eventually have a good relationship with a guy is to keep dating, keep experiencing, keep loving and keep having fun.

BUT the key is to use what you learned from the last failed experience to ensure that it doesn’t happen again.

Again, just like with a business idea that goes wrong, you learn, adjust and make better decisions in the future.

Love Lynn


Lynn Gilliard is the author of the relationship guide Let Him Chase YOU (available soon) and the eBook Friends With Benefits SUCKS (At Least for Women). She is an in-demand writer and transformational blogger helping people get in touch with their inner greatness.

Self-Love and Feeling Like You Don’t Matter (Written in Memory of Gia Allemand)

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“She always had a big heart for everybody, but not for herself.”

An episode of Dr. Phil caught my attention. His guest was Donna Micheletti, the mother of Gia Allemand, the young woman who cut her own life short because she was unhappy about relationships.

Something her lovely mother said in the beginning of the show caught my attention. She said of her deceased daughter, “She always had a big heart for everybody, but not for herself.”

This is a very tragic case that demonstrates the importance of SELF-love. How can a person have and show so much love for everyone else in her life, but not for her own self?

What makes everyone else worthy of love and not yourself?

I believe that it partially stems from childhood issues and is then exasperated by adult issues.

What Gia’s mother said struck me because I have been there. Feelings of being unworthy, unloved and unimportant. For me I believe it stemmed from being ignored and teased as a child and also being taught that as a girl I should always put the needs of others before my own. Mothers unconsciously teach this to their girls all of the time.

In Gia’s case her mother confirmed that her father’s abandonment was the source of her despair and feelings of being unwanted.

What to Do?
If you can admit that you have similar feelings of being useless, unloved and unimportant, the first step is identifying where this came from.

That person who told you that was LYING. They were miserable or STUCK themselves, so they took it out on you instead of resolving their own personal issues.

Once you are clear on the source of these dangerous thoughts swimming around in your head, the next step is SHOUTING THEM DOWN whenever they talk to you. They whisper in your ear ever so gently like a snake. When they start up, say it out loud if need be: YOU LIE! YOU ARE A LIAR!

You DO matter. You are loved and you are loveable. I don’t even know you but I love you, that’s why I’m writing this to you, so there you go!

You DO have a purpose here in this world, and that’s why you’re still here.

I Understand
I know what you’re going through — not very long ago I was curled up in a ball in my bed, in the dark, covers over my head, completely alone, with my cellphone turned off, for months, wondering why I even existed.

If I hadn’t come out of that, I wouldn’t be here right now, reaching you with words of love and upliftment. I wouldn’t have had the inspiration to write two new books and revive my business. My life is better simply because my thoughts are better. I have a purpose and so do you, even if it doesn’t seem that way right now.

When people unfortunately cut their lives short they do a great disservice to the entire universe because they don’t get a chance to live out that purpose. Don’t let those negative thought patterns take control over your life. You’re special and you’re meant to be here.

That alone is enough to justify loving every bit of who you are — a being perfectly crafted by God.

Start shouting down those thoughts of being unloved, unworthy, ugly or unimportant right now, don’t waste another moment.

I Love You
Lynn


Lynn Gilliard is the author of the relationship guide Let Him Chase YOU (available soon) and the eBook Friends With Benefits SUCKS (At Least for Women). She is an in-demand writer and transformational blogger helping people get in touch with their inner greatness.

Dating Advice: Is There Really a Connection There?

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I’ve been on a number of dates where it felt more like a chore than fun. In some cases I would actually go out on another date with the same guy, thinking that it would be different somehow, but it wasn’t.

In order to have a successful relationship, you must start by dating someone who you vibe with… someone who you get along with… someone who you laugh and crack jokes with… someone who really likes you and who you really like.

How many times have you gone out on a date with a guy and didn’t feel a strong connection, but since he was good-looking and halfway acceptable you kept dating him to pass time?

I am of the strong belief that you can tell if you have a connection with someone the first time that you meet them. There are energies that travel between people to inform them if this is a person who you will get along with in the long run.

I think it’s best to leave yourself open to meeting and dating a special someone rather than wasting time with someone that you don’t really feel that connection with. Follow your intuition.

Love Lynn


Lynn Gilliard is the author of the relationship guide Let Him Chase YOU (available soon) and the eBook Friends With Benefits SUCKS (At Least for Women). She is an in-demand writer and transformational blogger helping people get in touch with their inner greatness.

If Having a Serious Boyfriend is Your Definite Chief Aim, Say So

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Some women think that they will scare a man away if they express that they are interested in a serious relationship.

So instead of being clear about their desires, they pander to what they think the guy will want. They’ll say “I just want a friend with benefits” even though the truth is that they really really want a BOYFRIEND. So what do they usually get? A friends with benefits and eventually a lot of hurt feelings.

Here’s a newsflash: most guys want a confident woman who isn’t afraid to express her needs and desires. Most of them know that you are lying when you tell them that you don’t want a boyfriend. But they go along with it for the time being because you make it easy.

One more newsflash: a lot of guys actually want a girlfriend! They want the security of having a loyal woman by their side. Assuming all of the other priorities line up (good looking, sexy, supportive yet not afraid to voice her opinions, confident and someone they like to be around) they will most likely want you as a girlfriend. But if you can’t even be bold enough to tell him what you really want from the beginning, what does that say about your future with him?

A guy told me something once that I didn’t take seriously until recently. He said that women could have pretty much anything they wanted if they went after it.

I don’t take that to mean she should chase after a guy, but that she should be committed to getting EXACTLY what she wants from a man. In other words, if you really want to have a boyfriend, you have to hold to that goal steadfastly. Demand what you want and it will come to you. If he isn’t willing or able to give you what you demand out of the relationship, find that out early so that you will not waste any more of your time than necessary.

One thing to keep in mind is this: whenever you compromise your own needs, wants, desires or dreams for the same of someone else, you are heading in the wrong direction. Get back on track starting today.

Love Lynn


Lynn Gilliard is the author of the relationship guide Let Him Chase YOU (available soon) and the eBook Friends With Benefits SUCKS (At Least for Women). She is an in-demand writer and transformational blogger helping people get in touch with their inner greatness.