A Social Media Profile Photo Says a Lot About a Person

I have a theory that the social media profile picture you choose offers clues about your personality and what matters to you. Here are a few common choices of social media users and some insight into what it may say about the user.

This was written for fun. See if any of it rings true for you. πŸ˜ŠπŸ˜‰

Close-up shot of your face or eyes — you want the world to get a true glimpse into your soul — the real you.

Far away photo — you’re stand offish but still want the world to get to know you (and see what you look like) — in small steps.

Picture of a body part (boobs, booty or even a tattoo) — this is the part of you that you think the world values you for. May be a sign of low self-esteem / self-worth.

Photo of other people in your life or a pet (you not included) — you put others in your life first, which seems noble but it actually signals that you don’t think YOU matter much in the grand scheme of things.

Photo of yourself with another person or pet — that person may mean a lot to you, but including him or her in your profile picture could be a sign of co-dependency. You feel that you have to have someone else there to define you.

No Picture at All (a flower or similar photo instead) — this person is guarded and prefers privacy. Possibly paranoid or may have had a situation happen in the past that caused her or his guard to go up.

Photo of money, diamonds or other expensive items — wants others to believe that they are doing better than they actually are. Places a high value on material items and feels that these are the keys to a happy/good life.

Side profile — may be a sign that you’re trying to hide something about yourself. Maybe another side of your personality or a secret life.

Guest Post by Jade B.

Thoughts on 50 Shades of Grey… Is It Empowering?

I have never been the type of woman who goes along with the crowd. I was always the one who stood up to bullies (even if it put my own safety at risk) and to question potentially oppressive theories about women (why does the woman always have to be the one to be submissive or compromise for her male counterpart?).

Which is why I must go against the grain and present what may be an unpopular view of the movie 50 Shades of Grey. Something’s not quite right that I can’t really put my finger on yet…

I have not read the books and have seen some long clips from the movie. From what I’ve observed, the story is about a young, naive, plain-jane woman who falls into the romantic "snares" of a rich, attractive man. He introduces her to BDSM, which is bondage, disciple and submission while having sex.

So beyond the obvious arousing elements that advertisers are using to promote the movie, I think it’ s important to take a step back and look at the (potentially dangerous) messages that this movie may be sending.

1) If you are a "less attractive" woman, you don’t say no — especially not to an attractive, wealthy man. The woman cast is an average "plain jane" type who would pretty much do whatever Mr. Grey says. Yet some say this movie is about woman empowerment… how is that dynamic *empowering* for the female character?

2) If you are a "good girl" and just do what you’re told, you’ll get married and live happily ever after (Spoiler: I’ve heard that this is how the story ends, I may be wrong on this point).

3) Some say that the movie plays on the line of violence, oppression and date rape being "ok." I’ve read that there is a scene where the female character says she’s not comfortable with what’s going on and uses a "safe word," but he pushes her to go along with it anyway.

4) A sex-centered relationship, dominated by the man, will eventually lead to love. Is this the rule, or the very rare exception? Unfortunately this movie will likely lead young, impressionable women to believe that this result (true love based mostly on sexscapades) is commonplace.

To sum up my thoughts, 50 Shades of Grey is as problematic as your standard Hollywood romantic comedy. It’s loaded with questionable ideas and finishes off with an unlikely fairy tale ending….

But if you enjoyed the book and look forward to the movie, I don’t want to rain on your parade. Have fun with it — just PLEASE be informed of the possible messages it could be sending that *could* have an impact on your future relationships with men.

The media messages that we absorb every day can step into our lives in the most unexpected ways.

Love Lynn

Lynn Gilliard is a writer and transformational blogger. She is the author of a book of life and love advice for women entitled Why Doesn’t He Love Me? and a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU.

Online Dating: 3 Signs He’s Only Out for Sex

Online dating sites are now one of the top places where people connect. Some guys are just on there looking for a great lady to get to know, but unfortunately there’s another type of guy — the one who is only out for sex. These guys scavenge dating sites sending dozens, maybe even hundreds of messages to women, who they hope will be up for the role of a “cheap thrill” as I explained in my book Let Him Chase You.

Here are three simple signs that a guy you’re chatting with online is only out for sex.

Mentions “Cuddling”
There is a keyword that every woman who uses online dating sites must remember. It is a red flag that the guy is on the hunt for easy sex. That word is “cuddling.” For instance, the guy will list his favorite activities: running, working out, playing pool, watching movies and… cuddling.

Cuddling is a code word for FWB — that’s what he wants (or a one night stand). If that’s not what you want, run in the opposite direction! Don’t waste your time.

Ages 18-80
In most dating profiles men and women are allowed to type in an age range for the person they are seeking. One clear indication that a guy on an online dating site is only out for sex is when his age range is set to women 18-80. This is just a discreet way to say he wants ANYONE with lady parts. He will take a girl just out of high school or a great great grandma — it doesn’t matter because sex is his chief aim. When you are looking for a special connection with someone you’ll generally want to meet someone in your general age range who you can talk to and relate with.

Asks You to Drinks Late at Night
Guys are smart, or at least they all think they are! They know how eager some women are to go out on a date. So a guy who only wants sex from you will usually ask you for a date that will quickly lead to that conclusion. When he asks you to have a drink with him at a late hour, generally after 9pm, he is probably trying to set you up for a one night stand. If you have a few drinks at that late hour, you are less and less likely to want to go home. So he will ask you to his place or a hotel. If a guy on an online dating site doesn’t want to meet with you earlier in the day, for lunch, dinner, or some other special date idea, there’s a good chance that all he wants is sex.

A guy who really wants to get to know you will chat with you for a while to get to know who you are as a person — as long as it takes. He’ll respect you enough not to use sexual innuendos in your early conversations. He’ll want someone who he can connect with on an emotional level–not just physical. He won’t have a problem taking you out for lunch or a nice dinner.

Conclusion: Keep tossing those rocks and make room in your life for a gem.

 

Click below to share this post on Twitter with an @MENTION, and FOLLOW LYNN to receive a FREE copy of her eBook:

Friends With Benefits SUCKS (At Least for Women)

((~~~Very limited time offer~~~))

 

Love Lynn

Lynn Gilliard is a writer, transformational blogger and author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU andthe new book Survive, Live or Thrive?

The Fear of Ending Up Alone Leads to Bad Choices in Men

When you let the fear of being alone control your dating choices, you tend to rush into situations with guys who you know aren’t right for you.

Fear of being alone makes you move an unemployed grown adult man who has a questionable history and multiple children he doesn’t support into your house.

Fear of being alone makes you call a guy who slept with you and then didn’t call you for weeks to ask for some more mistreatment.

Some women are so afraid of ending up alone with loads of cats as friends that they compromise their self- respect, dignity and common sense just to be with someone.

You know what’s ironic? This type of woman still usually ends up alone in the end after a divorce, being abused, being dumped or experiencing another setback.

Here is the question that all of us ladies must ask ourselves at some point in our lives.

Would I rather be patiently single and have my dignity intact as I grow into my full womanhood, allowing the right people to enter my life

or

Be in a series of unhappy situations with men throughout life that leave me feeling used up and unfulfilled? Oh yea, and possibly still alone or even *worse* stuck with someone who makes me absolutely miserable?

All because of fear…

When we operate in fear we make really bad choices in men and in life.

So what are the steps to overcome this often debilitating fear that some of us women have about being alone?

1) recognize that you are living in fear
2) spell out the worst case scenario that you’re fearing (like being a cat lady)
3) realize that even if that were to happen, it’s not the end of the world!
4) release the fear and start LIVING your life free and bold with a clear head!

Love Lynn

Lynn Gilliard is a writer, transformational blogger and author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU.

My Theory: Why Do People Abuse Drugs and Alcohol?

I caught a bit of an episode of Iyanla Fix My Life the other day — it was an episode about a meth abuser who was prostituting himself for drugs. When you looked at his family, it seemed like they were an every day suburban household. So what could possibly convince this young man to put poison in his arm?

I have a theory that the majority of people who abuse drugs and alcohol have one of the following two stories:

1) They have been given negative feedback all of their lives. You’re ugly. You’re stupid. You’re a (f-word). You’re not going to amount to anything. That’s the only story that they know about themselves. In the Iyanla episode, the young man was teased for being gay, outed against his will as a teen and shunned for most of his young life by his family and peers.

These people are fighting demons that exist in their minds. They abuse drugs to mask their pain, which has been building up all of their lives.

OR

2) They have been given positive feedback all of their lives but then something major happens to completely crumble the positive belief that they have in themselves. For instance, say a woman has been told that she was a beauty queen, a princess, the most beautiful thing walking, perfect and everything that a woman should be all of her life. Then one day her husband leaves her for something younger, fresher and tighter.

Her foundation has crumbled beneath her. Everything that she has been taught since she was a girl is now a lie (at least in her mind). Then she turns to prescription drugs or alcohol to drown out the pain.

Another common example of #2 is a former child star who is showered with attention and money as a young person but then tossed aside as an adult.

Anyone is susceptible to this if you think about it.

In both cases the drug abuser has the same issue.They allow the opinions of others to define their lives instead of looking within and defining themselves.

I firmly believe that discovering who you are as one of God’s unique creations and accepting it fully is the key to conquering an addiction. You don’t have to be what other people want you to be. Be exactly who YOU want to be, even if other people don’t like it.

Who’s life is it anyway?

Love Lynn

“I Just Don’t Trust Other Women”: Why Are Some Women So Harsh on Each Other?

Why are some women so harsh with other women but give men a pass no matter how badly they’re treated?

I’ve noticed that some women are very harsh with each other, but don’t reserve the same passion and fervor for dealing with men who treat them badly.

questionheartWhy is this?

I guess it starts with the need to compete, which is taught to us as children — women who constantly feel threatened by other women instead of simply believing fully in their OWN woman power are more apt to “hate” on other women OR talk about other women as if they are the enemy.

Another reason: women who constantly complain about the behaviors, actions and intentions of other women may see something about THEMSELVES that they don’t like in that other woman, such as being overtly sexual, having a type A personality, being bitchy or making silly decisions about men.

Women together are powerful. Women separated are power-limited or powerless — especially when a man is involved. He gets all that precious power.

Think About It
The next time you catch yourself thinking, saying or doing something that is anti-your sister, reconsider. Switch over to a positive thought of her and release it all to God.

Remember: when you hate on or rebuke another woman you’re indirectly and unconsciously hating on or rebuking yourself!

Love Lynn

β€”
Lynn Gilliard is the author of the relationship guide Let Him Chase YOU (available soon) and the eBook Friends With Benefits SUCKS (At Least for Women). She is an in-demand writer and transformational blogger helping people get in touch with their inner greatness.

7 Reasons Why It’s Better to be SINGLE than in a Friends with Benefits Hookup

I originally wrote this list for my guide (Let Him Chase YOU), but decided it would be best for the blog:

7 Reasons Why It’s Better to be Single than in a FWB Hookup

1. You might not be the only one he’s creeping with. Do you really want to maintain a sex-only relationship with someone who may be promiscuous and having sex with other people?

2. The potential for unwanted pregnancies and STDs is high. Is it worth risking your life or lifestyle for someone who doesn’t have any real ties to you?

3. You leave yourself open to an actual relationship with a guy when you’re single.

4. You don’t have to experience the anxiety of waiting for a text message that may or may not come (which is probably just a booty call request).

5. You can rest peacefully and well throughout the night, every night, without being rudely awakened at 340 am, then having to debate with yourself about whether you should fix yourself up and run across town for a booty call.

6. You don’t have to listen to your FWB dump his problems on your lap, in the same way that he uses you for sexual relief. Especially is his “problem” is another woman he wants to be with.

7. You have more time on your hands to clear your head then pursue your interests, passions and business ideas when you’re single.

 

 

β€”
Lynn Gilliard is the author of the relationship guide Let Him Chase YOU (available soon) and the eBook Friends With Benefits SUCKS (At Least for Women). She is an in-demand writer and transformational blogger helping people get in touch with their inner greatness.