New Book: Survive Live or Thrive? by L. Lynn Gilliard

New Book:

Survive, Live or Thrive?

by L. Lynn Gilliard

Simple Life Tips for Those Who Feel Stuck in a Rut

Simple Life Tips for Those Who Feel Stuck in a Rut

This is a guide for those who feel that they may be stuck in a rut in one or more areas of their life, including:

    – pursuing your dreams
– making good money
– dating and love relationships
– family relationships
– self-love

Though the book is specifically targeted for women who are experiencing challenges in their lives, the concepts apply to everyone. Fueled by the idea that life is meant to be easy and enjoyable, it is loaded with stories, blog posts from Lynn’s websites and other inspirations and thoughts to help propel you to the ultimate goal: THRIVING in every area of your life.

Amazon Paperback Now Available

Audio version – Coming soon

Advertisements

The Fear of Ending Up Alone Leads to Bad Choices in Men

When you let the fear of being alone control your dating choices, you tend to rush into situations with guys who you know aren’t right for you.

Fear of being alone makes you move an unemployed grown adult man who has a questionable history and multiple children he doesn’t support into your house.

Fear of being alone makes you call a guy who slept with you and then didn’t call you for weeks to ask for some more mistreatment.

Some women are so afraid of ending up alone with loads of cats as friends that they compromise their self- respect, dignity and common sense just to be with someone.

You know what’s ironic? This type of woman still usually ends up alone in the end after a divorce, being abused, being dumped or experiencing another setback.

Here is the question that all of us ladies must ask ourselves at some point in our lives.

Would I rather be patiently single and have my dignity intact as I grow into my full womanhood, allowing the right people to enter my life

or

Be in a series of unhappy situations with men throughout life that leave me feeling used up and unfulfilled? Oh yea, and possibly still alone or even *worse* stuck with someone who makes me absolutely miserable?

All because of fear…

When we operate in fear we make really bad choices in men and in life.

So what are the steps to overcome this often debilitating fear that some of us women have about being alone?

1) recognize that you are living in fear
2) spell out the worst case scenario that you’re fearing (like being a cat lady)
3) realize that even if that were to happen, it’s not the end of the world!
4) release the fear and start LIVING your life free and bold with a clear head!

Love Lynn

Lynn Gilliard is a writer, transformational blogger and author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU.

By Yourself for the Holidays? That’s OK, Just Make Sure You’re in Good Company!

One of the most depressing times of year for single people is the holiday season. That includes pretty much all of December (Christmas, New Years, etc) and Valentine’s Day. When you’re by yourself, it seems as if everyone else around you has plans or is spending time with their “boos” except for you.

I can definitely relate. My best friend / former fiancé and I used to spend just about every Christmas and New Year’s Eve together. When he passed on, I realized that I really didn’t have anyone else in the world that I was connected to in that way.

So I spent most holidays in my bed. I mean just me and my cat watching Netflix eating potato chips and drinking wine in my bed. Mostly time spent feeling sorry for myself.

Today I have a much clearer mind. Today I say, if you’re spending the holidays by yourself, make sure that you’re in good company!

What I mean by that is that this is a perfect time to work on YOU and spend quality time with YOU. Now is a good time to follow more transformational blogs like this one, and download some motivational audiobooks to listen to when you’re feeling a little down. It’s like nourishment for the soul.

That’s what I did, and that’s why I’m now #LovingLife for the first time in a LONG time. Even if I do spend a holiday alone, I have a good time with myself. Me, myself and I get along just fine these days.

Side note: isn’t that the truth of why most people can’t stand to be alone? Because they don’t really like themselves yet. So let’s work on that this year.

Start with some audiobooks. They’re amazing! Audible has a free month trial for new members where you can download a book for free. After that you get 1 free credit per month and can purchase other books at a discount. Here are a few audiobooks to try when you need a boost:

Let Him Chase You (of course!)
– Rhonda Byrne’s The Power
– Lisa Nichols’ No Matter What
– James Allen books
– Napoleon Hill’s books on self improvement

I also highly recommend you get a little book entitled “If Life Is a Game These Are The Rules” by Cherie Carter-Scott.

Read the Signs — It’s All About Perspective
If you want something in life and you’re not getting it yet that’s a sign that there’s room for improvement. You should have everything that you want in your life, including a holiday companion if you so desire.

I know it’s hard during the holidays, but you have to look at this as an opportunity. This is not the time to feel sorry for yourself — it’s a time to learn and grow.

When you are in your right mind you can then set new goals so that next year you’ll be living your life to the fullest, no matter what!

Happy Holidays (for real this year)!
Love Lynn

Lynn Gilliard is a writer, transformational blogger and author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU.

I Did It; It’s My Fault: Taking Personal Responsibility for Your Life

“Bite the dog that bit you.”
“Ooooo, she makes me so mad!”
“The devil made me do it.”

These are all common phrases that people use to absolve themselves of personal responsibility. When something doesn’t go right, the first thing we tend to do is look for someone or something to blame.

At some point in your life, you have to stand up and say, “it was me, I did it. I did it to myself.”

There aren’t many things that you can honestly blame on others. For instance, say a child went astray and turned to drugs as a teen. It’s not his friend’s fault or the girl he’s decided to with, it’s the fault of his parents for not instilling more integrity and morals in him as a child. Once that child becomes an adult, it’s his own fault why he keeps getting into trouble.

If you find yourself in a string of abusive relationships or constantly being used up by men, you can’t blame that on anyone else but your own choices. There’s a pattern there, which begins and ends with you.

“Bite the dog that bit you” — YOU bit yourself, time and time again by continuing to pick up that bottle and drink

“She makes me so mad!” — YOU are allowing someone else’s negative energy to upset your life

“The devil made me do it.” — no, YOU did the deed and if anything the devil probably just watched, laughing at your poor choices

The longer you continue to blame the outer world for your inner turmoil and the trouble in your life, the longer your problems will persist.

I Did It – It Was Me
When you start to take full responsibility for what’s going on in your life you’ll be surprised at how FREE you will feel. You’ll finally realize that you are the sole master of your destiny. All you have to do is change something that you’re doing, saying, thinking or feeling and the problems will vanish. Even when you are faced with new obstacles, you’ll be able to jump over them with the ease of a world-class hurdler.

Take stock of what’s going on in your life today. What is holding you back from true happiness? Identify each and every “problem” you have going on in your life and take full responsibility for each of them.

Once you have done that, now you can get started on the SOLUTION.

Love Lynn

Lynn Gilliard is a writer, transformational blogger and author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU.

Feeling Alone: When You’re All You’ve Got, That’s More Than Enough

One of the most difficult yet powerful experiences you can have is finding yourself in a position where the only person on this earth you can count on or call on is YOU.

I went through this experience after losing someone who was very near and dear to me. It was extremely difficult to go from talking to this friend every day to not talking at all.

What hurt even more was when my phone went completely silent and I didn’t hear from anyone for weeks at a time. Now THAT is an eye opening experience.

But even in the midst of the disappointment and loneliness, somehow I knew that it was an important learning experience. It was something I had to go through. I constantly heard that little voice within tell me that it was going to be okay; that I needed to go through this to prove to myself that I could make it on my own. That I had to stop relying on the support or approval of others to get by in life. That all I had to do was trust in God — even if no one on this earth is there for me, God is with me always.

It took some time but I slowly picked myself up and pushed forward. Even though I felt as if I was crumbling inside each day, I went to work at a new job where no one knew me. I smiled (even when I wanted to cry) and eventually became one of the best workers there. I kept pushing on.

I listened to motivational speakers, like Les Brown and Napoleon Hill who told me that I am in total control of my destiny. That my own negative thoughts and beliefs were what was holding me back from happiness.

Slowly but surely I started to become myself again until I finally pulled myself completely out of that dark place. I started back on my path even more refreshed and motivated then ever. And I did it all on my own! That is so powerful.

If you’re going through a similar experience where you feel completely alone and like you’re all you’ve got in this world, this may just be an important lesson — a lesson that if learned could empower you throughout your life.

Even if you feel like you’re all you’ve got in the world, you’ve got to convince yourself that you’re enough. You don’t need someone else to come to your rescue — step up, take responsibility for your life and SAVE YOURSELF !

Love Lynn

Lynn Gilliard is a writer, transformational blogger and author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU.

Whoever Said Words Can Never Hurt… Lied !

From the time we were kids we were taught the saying:

“Sticks and stones may break bones but words will never hurt me”

I don’t know who came up with that saying, maybe someone with good intentions who was trying to help, but it’s a lie nonetheless.

Words hurt. They can cut DEEP and leave scars that don’t always heal with time.

How else can you explain someone who is 40 years old and still hurt about being teased or shunned in high school? How else do you explain a person living a limited, unhappy life just because someone told them they wouldn’t amount to anything?

A number of recent events in my own life have shown me the true power of words, how they can really hurt and how they can sit on a person’s soul for years and years — sometimes even a lifetime.

When someone tells a child that “sticks and stones” line they’re assuming that the child is strong enough to resist the ugliness of those words. Not all children are — some children are fragile and don’t have high self-esteem. They need more training and more encouragement at home to be able to prevent internalizing those hurtful words for years into the future.

A Better Saying…
I think the better saying would be that words may hurt you, but you shouldn’t let them DEFINE you.

You can’t deny that when someone says something hurtful to you, it stings. But the strength is in taking that insult in the proper context and then REJECTING it completely.

This is the proper context: people who try to hurt you with their words are reflecting their own hurt out into the world. The way they choose to deal with their own pain is to try to make someone else feel worse. They get a fleeting satisfaction from that (keyword: fleeting).

It’s up to each one of us to recognize this so that we can better let those ugly utterances bounce right off of us like jello, knowing that it has no basis in reality. Its real basis is in anger, emotional pain and confusion.

So let’s repeat this new affirmation to ourselves and to the young people in our lives: words might hurt you, but you can’t let them DEFINE you.

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

—–

Lynn Gilliard is a writer, transformational blogger and author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU.

Are You Allowing Toxic Family Members to Take Up Space in Your Life?

I blog often about the transformation I made in my life. I experienced improvement in every area from fulfillment in my work to better relationships.

Now that my mind is clearer I’m coming to some harsh realizations. One thing I am learning is that just because someone is related to you by blood doesn’t mean they have to be in your life.

This Thanksgiving holiday I witnessed some things about some of the people I am closely related to that has me seriously asking — do I really need to have someone in my life just because we’re related?

I don’t think so.

The behavior — selfishness, lack of consideration, lack of gratitude just to name a few — is certainly nothing new to me. But for some reason this particular holiday is the first time I am seriously considering that certain folks might be toxic in my life and not good for my personal growth. I felt some old feelings, thoughts and resentments come back that definitely don’t have any place in my new life!

Negative Energy Is Contagious
Do you have someone like this in your family? Someone who you feel forced to be around just because they are blood relations? Someone who lacks consideration for you and others? Someone who brings down your energy?

The energy that you have around you is important. Negative energy is highly contagious so you should make every effort to keep it away from you. If someone makes you feel upset, angry or disgusted every time you see them, maybe you shouldn’t be around that person at all — even if they’re related to you. Give them a chance to experience their own personal growth before allowing them back into your life. Nothing and no one should hold you back from growing.

As you make your own transformations in your life and in your relationships, I think it’s important to consider whether you are holding onto some people solely out of a sense of familial obligation and allowing them to infiltrate your life with negative energy.

It may be necessary to cut those “ties that bind” (at least temporarily) in order to allow better relationships and experiences into your world.

Love Lynn