Online Dating Precautions for Women

Although online dating has become more commonplace in the new millennium, it still comes with its share of risks — especially for young women. If you’ve decided to attempt online dating, it’s wise of you to take a few simple precautions. These precautions are not only for weeding out jerks, but also for protecting your safety when dating online.

Watch for Red Flags

When evaluating online profiles, there are a few things to look out for. If someone rants in his profile, that is a clear indication that he has anger issues. The guy can’t even restrain his anger when writing to someone he’s never even met — leave him to work out his issues on his own. Don’t look to be someone’s savior.

If you look closely, you can spot a controlling person from his profile as well. For example, if he tells you what you must do, how you must act and what you must wear if you were to date him, that is a controlling person. Generally, if the guy has a long list of unrealistic demands in his profile, that’s another red flag to watch for.

Converse on IM First

Don’t be so fast to give out your cellphone number to a guy who you have just met online. There are services that allow cellphone numbers to be reverse traced back to the account holder (sometimes even the billing address) — no bueno. Give out your instant messaging ID at first instead. Sometimes one short conversation on instant messaging is enough to tell you if you want to continue talking to the guy. Be cautious about men who offer their cellphone numbers too quickly; they probably do that a lot, to just about every woman they contact online.

When it’s time to give out your number, you’ll know. As an added layer of protection, you can get a forwarding number to give out instead of your cellphone number when dating online. If things get weird later on, all you have to do is block the guy’s number from your online dashboard and he’ll never know your real “digits.”

Schedule Day Dates

When you do decide to meet a man that you met online, set up a day date at first. Meet him for happy hour or lunch so that you can talk and get to know him. It’s partially for reasons of safety and partially because you won’t be tempted to do something you might regret in the morning. Some men that you’ll meet online will purposely try to set up a late night time for a first date (how about a drink?) because there is a better chance that you’ll have a moment of weakness and go home with them.

Google Search

Some women do full-fledged background checks on the men they date online, but if you find that a little extreme a simple Google Search will do for now. One time I Googled a guy’s internet handle and found him soliciting women online. Another time I searched the name of a guy who gave me his business card and found a) a criminal record of him sleeping with an underage girl and b) being married.  Just search for the guy’s name, email or profile ID to see if it reveals something questionable about him.

It is important to take certain precautions when dating online, but remember that the best advice is to listen to and trust your woman’s intuition.

Love Lynn

 

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Friends With Benefits SUCKS (At Least for Women)

((~~~Very limited time offer~~~))

Lynn Gilliard is a writer, transformational blogger and author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU and the new book Survive, Live or Thrive?

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Online Dating: 3 Signs He’s Only Out for Sex

Online dating sites are now one of the top places where people connect. Some guys are just on there looking for a great lady to get to know, but unfortunately there’s another type of guy — the one who is only out for sex. These guys scavenge dating sites sending dozens, maybe even hundreds of messages to women, who they hope will be up for the role of a “cheap thrill” as I explained in my book Let Him Chase You.

Here are three simple signs that a guy you’re chatting with online is only out for sex.

Mentions “Cuddling”
There is a keyword that every woman who uses online dating sites must remember. It is a red flag that the guy is on the hunt for easy sex. That word is “cuddling.” For instance, the guy will list his favorite activities: running, working out, playing pool, watching movies and… cuddling.

Cuddling is a code word for FWB — that’s what he wants (or a one night stand). If that’s not what you want, run in the opposite direction! Don’t waste your time.

Ages 18-80
In most dating profiles men and women are allowed to type in an age range for the person they are seeking. One clear indication that a guy on an online dating site is only out for sex is when his age range is set to women 18-80. This is just a discreet way to say he wants ANYONE with lady parts. He will take a girl just out of high school or a great great grandma — it doesn’t matter because sex is his chief aim. When you are looking for a special connection with someone you’ll generally want to meet someone in your general age range who you can talk to and relate with.

Asks You to Drinks Late at Night
Guys are smart, or at least they all think they are! They know how eager some women are to go out on a date. So a guy who only wants sex from you will usually ask you for a date that will quickly lead to that conclusion. When he asks you to have a drink with him at a late hour, generally after 9pm, he is probably trying to set you up for a one night stand. If you have a few drinks at that late hour, you are less and less likely to want to go home. So he will ask you to his place or a hotel. If a guy on an online dating site doesn’t want to meet with you earlier in the day, for lunch, dinner, or some other special date idea, there’s a good chance that all he wants is sex.

A guy who really wants to get to know you will chat with you for a while to get to know who you are as a person — as long as it takes. He’ll respect you enough not to use sexual innuendos in your early conversations. He’ll want someone who he can connect with on an emotional level–not just physical. He won’t have a problem taking you out for lunch or a nice dinner.

Conclusion: Keep tossing those rocks and make room in your life for a gem.

 

Click below to share this post on Twitter with an @MENTION, and FOLLOW LYNN to receive a FREE copy of her eBook:

Friends With Benefits SUCKS (At Least for Women)

((~~~Very limited time offer~~~))

 

Love Lynn

Lynn Gilliard is a writer, transformational blogger and author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU andthe new book Survive, Live or Thrive?

New Book: Survive Live or Thrive? by L. Lynn Gilliard

New Book:

Survive, Live or Thrive?

by L. Lynn Gilliard

Simple Life Tips for Those Who Feel Stuck in a Rut

Simple Life Tips for Those Who Feel Stuck in a Rut

This is a guide for those who feel that they may be stuck in a rut in one or more areas of their life, including:

    – pursuing your dreams
– making good money
– dating and love relationships
– family relationships
– self-love

Though the book is specifically targeted for women who are experiencing challenges in their lives, the concepts apply to everyone. Fueled by the idea that life is meant to be easy and enjoyable, it is loaded with stories, blog posts from Lynn’s websites and other inspirations and thoughts to help propel you to the ultimate goal: THRIVING in every area of your life.

Amazon Paperback Now Available

Audio version – Coming soon

“Lucky to be Here”… Is This Your Mentality When Dating Men? (VH1 Couples Therapy)

I caught a bit of an episode of Couples Therapy on VH1 and the therapist made a comment that I think a lot of heterosexual women can relate to when dating or in relationships. She brought up the fact that some women accommodate men, even when it isn’t reciprocated, because they have a “lucky to be here” mentality.

Lucky to be here. What does that mean?

It basically means that the woman thinks that the man is the prize to be won over, pleased, supported and accommodated.

The media, our families and our peers have conditioned us to desperately seek the love and attention of a man. We’re told that we have to go out there and find a man or else there’s something wrong with us.

Because of this coaxing and pressure, a lot of women have developed the mentality that they’re lucky to be in the presence of a guy, even when he’s farrrrr from a catch.

On the VH1 Couples Therapy show a woman hangs on by strings to a rapper. He has told her to her face multiple times that she is not really his girlfriend and that he has other women. She still clings to him like Saran Wrap on a counter top! It is clear that in this “relationship,” which could be called a friends with benefits, she honestly believes that he is the prize and that she is so lucky to be with him. So lucky to be with a man who berates her in front of other people on TV and won’t claim her as his girlfriend even on a show called “Couples Therapy.”

When a woman has this mentality about a man, she has pretty much relinquished all of her power in the relationship. He knows that he can do whatever he wants to her and she’ll just accept it. A good man would just leave her alone. A bad man will use her up first and them leave her alone, worse off than before. If she continues in this manner eventually he is going to drop her cold for someone else who has a much better self-image and she will be hurt, wondering what happened.

“But I was such a good woman to him!” is what a “lucky to be here” woman who gets dumped will usually say. Doesn’t matter.

Do you have a “lucky to be here” mentality when you find yourself involved with a new guy? If so, ask yourself this serious question: what is this person adding to your life that would make you so lucky to be with him other than his presence? Now compare that to the list of things that you as a woman are giving him.

Who’s really lucky to be in the relationship?

Think it over.
Love Lynn

—–

Lynn Gilliard is a writer, transformational blogger and author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU.

Mike Epps & Terry Crews Confirm the Premise of my Book “Let Him Chase YOU”

I was fortunate to catch the beginning of the Bethenny show, a new talk show that comes on daytime TV.

She had comedian Mike Epps and actor Terry Crews on her couch discussing relationships and dating. Both of these family men confirmed a number of the points that I highlight in my relationship guide Let Him Chase YOU and my Amazon eBook Friends with Benefits SUCKS (At Least for Women):

smileyheart– men prefer strong women who take control over their households

– men don’t like it when women chase them — they want to do the chasing

– men like to “earn” their ways into a woman’s heart (Terry likened an easy woman to getting a Super Bowl ring before the season even starts–nobody wants that)

Of course they don’t represent EVERY man, but I do believe they represent the views of MOST men.

Let a man be a man.

So bottom line, be yourself woman, stand up for yourself, love every inch of who you are (own it!) and live fearlessly.

As soon as I find a clip online, I will post it here.

Love Lynn


Lynn Gilliard is the author of the relationship guide Let Him Chase YOU (available soon) and the eBook Friends With Benefits SUCKS (At Least for Women). She is an in-demand writer and transformational blogger helping people get in touch with their inner greatness.

Why Do Good Girls Finish Last & Bad Girls Get the Guy?

 

One of the top searched questions that I see are from women who want to know why good girls finish last while bad girls always seem to get the guys.

The answer is really simple: good girls tend to live life fearfully while “bad” girls tend to live life fearlessly.

If you were a guy, which type of woman would you want to be with?

friends with benefits question

Dating and Relationship Questions

a) a woman who has low self-esteem who is constantly questioning herself and her worth, listening to what everyone tells her to do instead of living in her truth

or

b) a woman who doesn’t care what others thing about her decisions, who is confident, bold and demands what she wants from life? Oh, and she’s sexy.

Flip that around if it’s hard to grasp — swap out woman for man. Which type of guy would you want to date?

Men Want Bold, Beautiful Women — Even if They’re a Little “Trashy” or Mean
It might go against all sense and logic that you’ve been taught, but most men will choose a “trashy,” mean, overtly sexual woman who is bold and confident over a woman who is conservative and afraid to be herself every day of the week.

(By the way, who said these women were “bad” in the first place? The same people who keep you living in fear of judgment every day of your life. Think about that.)

This is not to say that you should become a “bad girl” or start stripping for a living.

It’s actually great news, because you can be a good woman who is confident, bold and extremely attractive to men. You can have one up on those so-called “bad” girls, many of whom may one day regret a lot of their decisions.

You don’t have to slide down a pole for a living in order to attract men. You just have to :

1) unconditionally LOVE who you are

2) Have unbending CONFIDENCE in who you are as a woman

3) STOP depending on the opinions of others and FOCUS on your own needs

4) BE BOLD about pursuing what you want in life

5) SPEAK UP for yourself

You must be a no-nonsense type of woman who gets exactly what she wants from life if you want to be irresistible to men.

It may take a little time to get there after so much brainwashing and negative self-talk, so best to get started today.

Love Lynn


Lynn Gilliard is the author of the relationship guide Let Him Chase YOU (available soon) and the eBook Friends With Benefits SUCKS (At Least for Women). She is an in-demand writer and transformational blogger helping people get in touch with their inner greatness.

Do You Feel Worthless in Your Relationships?

By Lynn Gilliard

(Posted at DatingAdvice.com)

friends with benefits question

Dating and Relationship Questions

Since I was a child, I have struggled with feelings of not being worthy, not being enough and not really mattering.

It got to the point where I could not understand why I was even put on this earth.

I then went through a period after I flourished into a beautiful woman and started to get everything I wanted. I was accepted into a top college. I had plenty of boyfriends, a great job and a full social life.

Unfortunately, those old feelings did not go away.

They extended into my adulthood…

Read the rest of this post at DatingAdvice.com, a site for those who need advice on dating, reviews of online sites and more. Click here for the full post  >>
http://www.datingadvice.com/for-women/do-you-feel-worthless-in-your-relationship


Lynn Gilliard is the author of the relationship guide Let Him Chase YOU (available soon) and the eBook Friends With Benefits SUCKS (At Least for Women). She is an in-demand writer and transformational blogger helping people get in touch with their inner greatness.