New Book: Survive Live or Thrive? by L. Lynn Gilliard

New Book:

Survive, Live or Thrive?

by L. Lynn Gilliard

Simple Life Tips for Those Who Feel Stuck in a Rut

Simple Life Tips for Those Who Feel Stuck in a Rut

This is a guide for those who feel that they may be stuck in a rut in one or more areas of their life, including:

    – pursuing your dreams
– making good money
– dating and love relationships
– family relationships
– self-love

Though the book is specifically targeted for women who are experiencing challenges in their lives, the concepts apply to everyone. Fueled by the idea that life is meant to be easy and enjoyable, it is loaded with stories, blog posts from Lynn’s websites and other inspirations and thoughts to help propel you to the ultimate goal: THRIVING in every area of your life.

Amazon Paperback Now Available

Audio version – Coming soon

Advertisements

The Fear of Ending Up Alone Leads to Bad Choices in Men

When you let the fear of being alone control your dating choices, you tend to rush into situations with guys who you know aren’t right for you.

Fear of being alone makes you move an unemployed grown adult man who has a questionable history and multiple children he doesn’t support into your house.

Fear of being alone makes you call a guy who slept with you and then didn’t call you for weeks to ask for some more mistreatment.

Some women are so afraid of ending up alone with loads of cats as friends that they compromise their self- respect, dignity and common sense just to be with someone.

You know what’s ironic? This type of woman still usually ends up alone in the end after a divorce, being abused, being dumped or experiencing another setback.

Here is the question that all of us ladies must ask ourselves at some point in our lives.

Would I rather be patiently single and have my dignity intact as I grow into my full womanhood, allowing the right people to enter my life

or

Be in a series of unhappy situations with men throughout life that leave me feeling used up and unfulfilled? Oh yea, and possibly still alone or even *worse* stuck with someone who makes me absolutely miserable?

All because of fear…

When we operate in fear we make really bad choices in men and in life.

So what are the steps to overcome this often debilitating fear that some of us women have about being alone?

1) recognize that you are living in fear
2) spell out the worst case scenario that you’re fearing (like being a cat lady)
3) realize that even if that were to happen, it’s not the end of the world!
4) release the fear and start LIVING your life free and bold with a clear head!

Love Lynn

Lynn Gilliard is a writer, transformational blogger and author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU.

Why Do Good Girls Finish Last & Bad Girls Get the Guy?

 

One of the top searched questions that I see are from women who want to know why good girls finish last while bad girls always seem to get the guys.

The answer is really simple: good girls tend to live life fearfully while “bad” girls tend to live life fearlessly.

If you were a guy, which type of woman would you want to be with?

friends with benefits question

Dating and Relationship Questions

a) a woman who has low self-esteem who is constantly questioning herself and her worth, listening to what everyone tells her to do instead of living in her truth

or

b) a woman who doesn’t care what others thing about her decisions, who is confident, bold and demands what she wants from life? Oh, and she’s sexy.

Flip that around if it’s hard to grasp — swap out woman for man. Which type of guy would you want to date?

Men Want Bold, Beautiful Women — Even if They’re a Little “Trashy” or Mean
It might go against all sense and logic that you’ve been taught, but most men will choose a “trashy,” mean, overtly sexual woman who is bold and confident over a woman who is conservative and afraid to be herself every day of the week.

(By the way, who said these women were “bad” in the first place? The same people who keep you living in fear of judgment every day of your life. Think about that.)

This is not to say that you should become a “bad girl” or start stripping for a living.

It’s actually great news, because you can be a good woman who is confident, bold and extremely attractive to men. You can have one up on those so-called “bad” girls, many of whom may one day regret a lot of their decisions.

You don’t have to slide down a pole for a living in order to attract men. You just have to :

1) unconditionally LOVE who you are

2) Have unbending CONFIDENCE in who you are as a woman

3) STOP depending on the opinions of others and FOCUS on your own needs

4) BE BOLD about pursuing what you want in life

5) SPEAK UP for yourself

You must be a no-nonsense type of woman who gets exactly what she wants from life if you want to be irresistible to men.

It may take a little time to get there after so much brainwashing and negative self-talk, so best to get started today.

Love Lynn


Lynn Gilliard is the author of the relationship guide Let Him Chase YOU (available soon) and the eBook Friends With Benefits SUCKS (At Least for Women). She is an in-demand writer and transformational blogger helping people get in touch with their inner greatness.

Break the Cycle for Better Love Relationships

Back when I was wound up, sad and depressed, my mind was a complete mess. I just couldn’t see a way out of my ongoing negative cycles. It was as if a cloud had settled over my brain. I continually made poor choices in men and my relations with them, never really considering that “insanity is doing the same thing over and over again while expecting a different result.” I was perpetuating my own cycles. It wasn’t them — it was me. The problem was in the choices I was making.

Now that the storm clouds have moved on and I have finally broken that cycle, I am amazed at how much clearer things are to me. I can’t even understand what I ever saw in most of the guys I dated in the past. I simply wasn’t demanding the best for myself.

Desperation is an Ugly Emotion
The lack of clarity in the guys we sometimes choose to date is in part due to habit. But it’s also because of that ugly, ugly emotion: desperation.

Something inside nags at you, telling you this guy isn’t a good choice, but your desperation and fear of being alone causes you to wave it off…. “Just keep dating him and see where it goes…” Then the cycle begins again.

So we waste valuable hours, days and years of our lives focusing on guys who really aren’t worth the effort. Then when we eventually breakup or get dumped, depression settles in again, our self-esteem takes a hit and eventually you get with a guy who was just like the last one (or worse).

Breaking the Cycle
With my new clarity I value what’s good for ME over giving into my fears of being alone. I recognize the following:

– I have the power to attract a certain type of guy into my life.

– I am responsible for how I conduct my relationships with men.

– My personal well-being and sanity is more important than being in a relationship.

Are you still hung up over a breakup, caught up in the same bad cycle or feeling like your mind is clouded when it comes to relationships? Think about what you may have done wrong with each guy, such as having sex with him too soon or allowing him to walk all over you emotionally. What patterns can you identify that happened with each guy you dated? What was your role in it? Accept responsibility. Meditate on all of that.

To further break the cycle, mentally write down the qualities that you DO want in a man and from a relationship. For instance, “he values my womanhood, supports my dreams, is trustworthy and cares about my feelings.”

Keep these new affirmations in mind the next time you meet a new guy. Take note of any familiar patterns from the past.

This time break the cycle — LISTEN to your intuition.

Remember: “insanity is doing the same thing over and over again while expecting a different result.”

Love Lynn


Lynn Gilliard is the author of the relationship guide Let Him Chase YOU (available soon) and the eBook Friends With Benefits SUCKS (At Least for Women). She is an in-demand writer and transformational blogger helping people get in touch with their inner greatness.

If Having a Serious Boyfriend is Your Definite Chief Aim, Say So

Listen2

Some women think that they will scare a man away if they express that they are interested in a serious relationship.

So instead of being clear about their desires, they pander to what they think the guy will want. They’ll say “I just want a friend with benefits” even though the truth is that they really really want a BOYFRIEND. So what do they usually get? A friends with benefits and eventually a lot of hurt feelings.

Here’s a newsflash: most guys want a confident woman who isn’t afraid to express her needs and desires. Most of them know that you are lying when you tell them that you don’t want a boyfriend. But they go along with it for the time being because you make it easy.

One more newsflash: a lot of guys actually want a girlfriend! They want the security of having a loyal woman by their side. Assuming all of the other priorities line up (good looking, sexy, supportive yet not afraid to voice her opinions, confident and someone they like to be around) they will most likely want you as a girlfriend. But if you can’t even be bold enough to tell him what you really want from the beginning, what does that say about your future with him?

A guy told me something once that I didn’t take seriously until recently. He said that women could have pretty much anything they wanted if they went after it.

I don’t take that to mean she should chase after a guy, but that she should be committed to getting EXACTLY what she wants from a man. In other words, if you really want to have a boyfriend, you have to hold to that goal steadfastly. Demand what you want and it will come to you. If he isn’t willing or able to give you what you demand out of the relationship, find that out early so that you will not waste any more of your time than necessary.

One thing to keep in mind is this: whenever you compromise your own needs, wants, desires or dreams for the same of someone else, you are heading in the wrong direction. Get back on track starting today.

Love Lynn


Lynn Gilliard is the author of the relationship guide Let Him Chase YOU (available soon) and the eBook Friends With Benefits SUCKS (At Least for Women). She is an in-demand writer and transformational blogger helping people get in touch with their inner greatness.

Is Being “The Cat Lady” Really the Worst That Could Happen?

One of the memes that society uses to pressure women into rushed relationships is the dreaded “cat lady.”

No woman wants to become “the cat lady” with 10 cats living in her house!

friends with benefits question

Dating and Relationship Questions

But if you think about it, is it really so bad to be the cat lady?

I think a lot of cat ladies are cat ladies by choice. I think many of them are happy. I think they are probably content — even more content then women who are trapped in miserable relationships at that stage in life.

Think about it.

My theory, which I write about in my eBook, is that women have a hierarchy of needs when it comes to men. They want a protector, a provider, a friend and then a lover.

So let’s analyze the cat lady.

At that stage of life, she’s probably learned how to protect herself. She has a big shot gun loaded and ready. She has a security system and is part of the neighborhood watch. She’s an older lady so people probably don’t bother her much anyway.

At that stage the cat lady probably has what she needs to provide for her basic needs — food and shelter. She’s no longer concerned about worldly things.

With a few exceptions, she doesn’t have the strong desire for sex and attention that she did when she was younger.

And her friend? Mr. Cat. He’s always there. He follows her around all day, sleeps with her, cuddles with her and gives her a purpose for each day. He has to be fed and loved, that’s all.

Now you might think this is a sad story, because you’ve been taught that you need a human companion (namely a man) in order to be happy.

But I don’t think the cat lady is as sad as you may think. She is free to do as she pleases. She doesn’t have to fight with anyone or justify her decisions. She doesn’t have to sacrifice her own needs to take care of someone else. She can travel and see the world if she wants, the cats will be okay.

I think what’s even sadder than the cat lady is going through life desperately settling for unfulfilling relationships with men, just because you’re afraid of being alone. Everyone wants to find love, and when you DO it is awesome and totally worth the extra efforts you have to put forth. But unfortunately a lot of women are settling and being pressured by society to do things that ulimately make them unhappy.

And you know what’s ironic? The independent cat lady is in high demand! Single men her age and older want her bad, especially if she still looks good. They want someone to take care of them, and a young woman is not going to do that.

But the smart cat lady is content and probably doesn’t want to complicate her life with a man at that point. She has what she needs. She would most likely only allow a man into her life if it was true love, effortless and blissful.

So the next time someone tries to scare you by telling you you’re on your way to being the cat lady if you don’t meet a man, think about this post. It might prompt you to respond,

“Maybe that’s not the worst thing in the world.”

Then go out there and get yourself a cat.

Love Lynn


Lynn Gilliard is the author of the relationship guide Let Him Chase YOU (available soon) and the eBook Friends With Benefits SUCKS (At Least for Women). She is an in-demand writer and transformational blogger helping people get in touch with their inner greatness.

Learn to Say NO, Even If It Might Hurt Someone’s Feelings

I was once faced with a tough decision regarding someone who I worked with. I made a commitment to perform a job, but matters arose that would make it impossible.

I spent nights not sleeping, worrying about how I would break the news to this person who was counting on me (and who I really like as a person by the way).

All in all, I was worried about how I would tell this person “no.” No, I can’t do it.

I finally did say no, and as hard as it may have been, was it really necessary to do all of that worrying in the meantime? How many hours did I waste worrying about something that was essentially out of my control?

Putting Your Needs First
Sometimes situations arise where you have to put your needs before the needs or wants of someone else. Keeping this in mind is ultra important when you are dating men.

A lot of us women are people-pleasers. We don’t want to hurt feelings or disappoint people.

So when a guy suggests that you have sex way too soon, or asks you to pick him up and drive him around, or asks you to perform some other inappropriate action, you are afraid to say no for fear of disappointing him or losing him.

That’s no way to conduct your dating life if you want to be taken seriously as a woman. If it isn’t right, you MUST say no even if it will displease the guy you’re dating.

What you’ll probably find is that the guy will respect you MORE when you stand up for yourself and say no.

Make a Decision and Stick With It
The next time you are faced with a decision about a guy (or just in life in general) give yourself some time to ponder what is the right choice.

Then, make a firm decision and stick to it. Do not waver and do not worry about what the other person will say or think if you must say NO.

Even if it might disappoint the other person, when you say no, ask yourself this question: How much would it disappoint, inconvenience or hurt YOU if you were to say yes?

Love Lynn


Lynn Gilliard is the author of the relationship guide Let Him Chase YOU (available soon) and the eBook Friends With Benefits SUCKS (At Least for Women). She is an in-demand writer and transformational blogger helping people get in touch with their inner greatness.